Finding Us (Pack Bardot Book 3) Read online

  “Not it,” Caulder pinches his nose, but then thinks twice about that when he realizes he has to breathe through his mouth, likely tasting the stench as well.

  “Oh, no, no. You know that’s not how Bardot’s battle it,” Dax states, his arms crossed over his chest. The two of them stare one another down, a battle of wills commencing. I’m not sure what’s about to happen. A staring contest? But then they each widen their stance and LT starts rubbing his balled-up fist with his other hand. They can’t seriously be about to duke it out over some stale piss. Surely fucking not. Dax narrows his eyes, mimicking Caulder and doing the same with his hands. I open my mouth to intervene when I see LT’s hand raise to...start a game of rock, paper, scissors?! I stand there, mouth slack, watching the two of them settle their fight a la kindergarten recess. Of all the things I thought might be about to happen, this never crossed my mind.

  “Ha!” Dax shouts. “I win! What even is that?” he gestures to Caulder’s hand. His two middle fingers are pinched down to his thumb, while the outside two are lifted up. A wolf. I remember making the same shape with my own hand to play in the shadows of my wall. A simple distraction to keep my mind off the chaos taking place in our home.

  “It’s a wolf,” Caulder speaks slowly, obviously doubting his uncle’s intelligence that something so simple seems to have him stumped. Dax rolls his eyes.

  “You still lost. Hop to it, little dude!” My mate looks downright gleeful about sending LT into the war zone that is that bathroom. I actually wonder if the fumes might be toxic at this point, but like hell am I gonna volunteer to trade places with him.

  “One day, my wolf is going to eat you,” Caulder deadpans, stepping forward to tackle the stagnant pee toilet.

  “Oh, please. I’m just helping you build some character. Getting a jump start on your introduction to chores,” Dax laughs, snagging my hand and then leads me through the house and out the front door before my little dude can protest. He hands me a bottle of water, both of us taking a few deep breaths of the clean, fresh air. I can hear chatter from the other cabin, but Dax and I are content to sit in silence. A few minutes later, Caulder stumbles onto the small front porch.

  “That was...” he trails off, shaking his head from side to side. “I am...shook.” He does a full body shiver, then grabs a can of Lysol from the box of products by the steps and proceeds to spray himself from head-to-toe with the disinfectant. My mouth pops open, a retort on the tip of my tongue that he probably shouldn’t do that, but he’s already finished and finely misted in chemical. Dax pushes off from the tree he’d been leaning against and stalks towards me.

  “Keep leaving that mouth open, and I’m gonna start to think you want me to put something in it,” he murmurs against my ear. Tingles spread throughout my body as he carefully lifts my chin until his lips meet mine, assuring the hole in my face is no longer open for any wandering bugs to fly on in. Dax steps away, smirking as he walks backwards to the house to start cleaning again. I take a few more seconds to steady myself before I join him, knowing my skin is flushed, and not from embarrassment. Dax has always been able to render me a bit stupid, but this back-and-forth, push-and-pull between us flows so easily it still shocks me sometimes. I just am with him, and all pretense of feeling out of sorts and awkward flew out the window after last night. This new layer of our relationship feels effortless. The us we’ve become, and all the things I still can’t wait to explore with and about him. Fuck, I love that man. This whole family and their quirks? I love every bit of it.

  Chapter 10

  Daxton

  By the time we finish it’s late afternoon. Linny looks dead on her feet, but I can see how proud she is of all the work we accomplished in just a few short hours. Her and Grace really do have an eye for this sort of thing. They not only cleaned these cabins to the point of making their hands raw, but they went beyond that and made the space of each one actually look and feel like a home. Small touches here and there that changed the whole place, making them feel cozy and inviting. We only have an hour or so before the women from Pack Ames are set to arrive. Not enough time to clean ourselves up, but we can at least get something to eat.

  “The demon in my belly needs to be fed,” Caulder whines, rubbing his stomach. Right on cue, the boy’s focus shifts to food. I’m sure the things that haunt most couples as they approach parenthood are along the lines of medical bills and college tuition. Me? I have nightmares about how we’re going to keep Caulder fed during his teen years. Add in the fact that he’ll be going through his first shift? Yeah, safe to say I’ll need to keep a close eye on my investments or the kid is liable to bankrupt me. Pulling my phone from my back pocket, I quickly pull up the local pizza joint and place an order.

  “Have no fear, take-out is on the way,” I ruffle his hair while making my way over to my girl. I’d really love nothing more than to take her home and spend the rest of the evening inside her, but I know she’ll never go for bailing out early. Linny feels the need to compensate for some misconstrued idea that she personally failed those women. I don’t see how anyone could possibly blame her, considering she’d been starved and half out of her mind, not to mention having just killed someone. No one in that situation would be thinking clearly enough to lead an entire prison break. I also know from experience that nothing she does to try and make up for that guilt will actually work. Linny’s going to have to accept that she didn’t do a damn thing wrong and let it go.

  When we finally get back to Ma and Pop’s, we’re all dragging ass. Everyone collapses in the living room while we wait for the food to arrive. Taking an open seat on one the couches, I pull Linny down with me, settling her in my lap. Once my arm is around her waist, I bury my face against the back of her neck and take a deep breath. This day feels like it’s lasted a fucking lifetime. So much has happened since we woke up this morning, so much that I never planned for. If I had it my way, we never would’ve left the bed. I can feel the moment Linny relaxes, the stress of the day slipping away little by little. My wolf is practically prancing, giddy with the knowledge that we’re the ones who do that for her, who she can let go and unwind with. After the last few weeks, particularly that one after her stint in Pack Ames’ doom shed, it’s more than I could’ve hoped for. She’s strong as fuck, and I couldn’t be more thankful that she crawled her way out and made it back to me.

  I brush Linny’s long hair aside, exposing her neck. Discreetly, I press my lips against her flesh. A tremor works its way through her body, making me smile. My thumb slides back and forth over the sliver of skin above my boxers she’s still sporting. I can feel her pulse pick up as my tongue dances across the mark I left last night. She shifts, wiggling back and forth, her eyes scanning the room full of people. No one’s paying a lick of attention to us, most of them have their eyes closed and are dozing off. My dick is so hard it hurts, so when Linny’s little hand slides along my thigh, inching its way up to where I desperately need it to be, I can’t help the groan that works its way up my throat. I’m about to carry her to my old room, not at all comfortable with continuing this in the same room as my mother, when someone knocks on the damn door.

  “Food!” Caulder bolts up, like he wasn’t just knocked out cold. I flop my head back, trying to focus on redirecting the blood flow from my cock. Linny giggles, clearly taking joy in my pain. I still crack a smile, that sound alone easing the ache in my balls. My girl swivels sideways, plants a chaste kiss on my lips and leans in to whisper against my ear.

  “Later, perv.” And then the dirty wench tweaks my nipple. I’m not sure what she was going for, but the low moan I release definitely wasn’t what she expected. Her lips part as she chokes on nothing but air. I smirk, gloating that her little plan to tease me backfired.

  “Careful, Lin,” Chevy slaps her on the back. “That ghost dick will get ya every time.” Her eyes flare wide, somehow still shocked by the shit that comes out of his mouth. He winks and heads for the kitchen, where everyone else has already gathered and s
tarted to eat.

  “Ah, shit. We better hurry before Caulder eats it all.” I lift us both up, set Linny on her feet and then lead us to the pizza, or whatever’s left of it.

  “Don’t worry, Lindy. I saved you some,” the garbage disposal himself grins, handing her a plate full. His smile is saccharine sweet and he even flutters his eyelashes. “You too, Uncle D.” I can see the bullshit glinting in his beady little eyes, fully aware that he’s up to something before he hands me a plate that has nothing on it but a piece of crust and a half-eaten slice of veggie lovers. Which I only got because I know Chevy’s struggling with his new carb and sugar friendly diet. Old habits die hard and all.

  “Yeah, I’d rather eat my own ass,” I glare at the offending food.

  “Daxton!” Ma hollers. I reach into my pocket and pull out a crumpled five-dollar bill before she can tell me to pay the swear jar.

  “There. Now I have four credits,” I state, shoving the money in the old mason jar that’s been on the counter since I was kid. Ma still glares at me, not finding near as much amusement in my joking as I do. Pop’s phone rings, causing us all to halt conversation so he can hear over the noise.

  “Yeah,” he nods along to whatever’s being said on the other end of the line. “Alright, we’re headed your way.” Pop ends the call and swipes a napkin from the stack on the island, wiping his mouth as he tosses his plate in the trash. Linny slides hers over for me to take some. She ate at least three slices and there’s still about twelve left. I shake my head. That kid, man. Pop clears his throat as I shove a piece down my throat whole. Looks like I won’t have time to actually taste my dinner tonight, but at least I won’t be hungry.

  “That was Cyrus. He’s on the way with our guests. We’ll meet em’ at the cabins.” Everyone starts moving, clearing away the trash and gearing up to leave. I manage to eat another three slices before it’s time to go. I lace my fingers with Linny’s as we walk down the trail. I can feel the anxiety coming off of her in waves the closer we get. I don’t want this to set her back. She’s improved a fuck ton since her hibernation from depression, and I refuse to let her fall back into that slump. I’ll twirl around in a fucking tutu while singing It’s Raining Men if it’ll keep a smile on her face.

  “Baby,” I pull her to a stop, letting the others get a few feet ahead of us before I say anything else. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” I lean down, holding her gaze. When she gets like this, eye contact is crucial. Linny’s bright blues tell everything she’s feeling if you look closely enough.

  “I’m just nervous,” she bites her bottom lip, making my wolf perk up. That simple act makes us batshit crazy, but I push him down. “We spent all day out here, making those cabins livable, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. I’m not sure there’s anything I could do that would ever be enough.” I fucking hate that she feels so responsible, but I get it. I don’t offer any fake platitudes. Instead, I pull my girl against me and run my fingers through her hair.

  “You have no reason to feel bad,” Linny shakes her head vigorously, cutting me off.

  “That’s just it, Dax. I haven’t thought about those women at all. Not until your dad brought them up this morning. I think they’ve been in the back of my head, and unconscious thought, but I feel like shit that I gave more of my guilt to Christian’s death than I did about leaving them.” She looks gutted saying those words, but I’m proud as shit that she did. Even when I know she would’ve rather kept it to herself, buried it down deep and pretended they don’t exist. The fact that she didn’t do that speaks volumes as to how much she’s growing and healing.

  “That’s because you knew that we would get them out. Maybe not in here,” I tap my finger against her temple. “But in your heart, you knew that we would never leave them there after knowing about them. After getting confirmation that all those rumors we’ve heard over the years were true.” My girl exhales shakily, but nods. I can only hope that she believes my words.

  “I don’t foresee these women holding any ill will towards you, Linny. But even if one, or all of them do, I’m still gonna be here. We’ll make it to the other side together, and I’ll never let you forget that you’re a goddamn warrior.” I kiss her forehead, wishing I could see the future and know exactly what we’re about to walk into. I get that these women have been through hell, far more than Linny endured. But she’s my mate, and the last thing I want is to lead her into a shit storm of finger pointing and accusations. I’d tell them, the pope and Elton John himself to fuck off before I allowed that to happen.

  Chapter 11

  Linden

  I’m itching to bolt, which Dax must sense based on the death grip he has my hand in. I feel like I’m walking the green mile. The absolute last thing I want to do is face these women after I left them to fend for themselves. I’m sure they think I’m a selfish asshole. The walk is short. Too short. We’re only there a few minutes before the group of newcomers come show up. Subtly, my family, my pack, move closer to me. They might not agree with how I feel about how things played out and the responsibility I’m shouldering, but I don’t think for a second that they would tolerate anyone blaming me. I suck in a sharp breath when they come to a stop in front of us. The seven women look gaunt and haunted. They each clutch a small backpack, probably containing the only items they have left in the world. I know all too well how it feels to have your whole life summed up in a single bag.

  “Alpha Bardot,” the man leading them tilts his head, and Papa Wolf greets him with the same respect. “I can’t thank you enough for extending your hospitality. If we had the space and resources I wouldn’t have asked.” The acting Alpha, I assume, looks embarrassed, his lips pressed in a tight line.

  “Nonsense,” Carder replies. “The offer was genuine. We’re more than happy to help where we can.” The two of them continue their conversation, discussing the state of Pack Ames and how they’re doing under ‘new management’. Snort. I’m only half-ass listening, my attention drawn to the women. Their eyes are darting around nervously, and every time they land on one of the men in our group, they pale. Of course, they would. These women have been held under the thumbs of men for who knows how long, being used as whatever they saw fit. A punching bag. A baby factory. Their trust in the male species has been shattered, rightfully fucking so. I catch Mom’s eye, not needing words to communicate what needs to happen. I move back, taking Dax with me as I see Mom pull Beatrix aside.

  “I love you, but I need you to leave,” I state bluntly. Dax’s brows draw together, confusion clouding his adorably scrunched face.

  “Uh...” he starts to speak, but I clamp my hand over his mouth.

  “These women are terrified, Dax. They’re in a new place, after living through hell and back, and the last thing they need is to deal with random men that they don’t know or trust after what they’ve been through. I really need all of you guys to head back, and us girls will help get them settled,” I plead, hoping he’ll cave. Realization hits him, making him look contrite for not having thought of it already.

  “Shit,” Dax’s feet shuffle, one of his nervous tics. “Looks like Ma is having the same talk with Pop.” Carder looks up, giving Dax a barely discernible nod. “Not keen on leaving you, but I get it. If you need anything, you call me. Understand?” Dax’s hands frame my face, his fingers tightening in my hair. His thumb brushes over the mark he left on my neck and goosebumps break out across my skin. Aside from the thing it does to my panties, aka incinerates them, it also calms me. Grounds me to the here and now. Like a gentle reminder that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, Dax will be there. A constant safe place for me to land after being put through the ringer of whatever clusterfuck life hurls our way next.

  “Sir, yes, sir.” I smirk, reveling in the way his pupils expand and darken.

  “Okay, smartass,” he tugs me closer, presses his cheek against mine so he can speak quietly enough that only I can hear. “Keep it up, and I’m gonna spank your ass.”
His chest vibrates with a low growl, followed by his teeth grazing my ear. Gonna need to buy panties in bulk at this rate. I, begrudgingly, push him away, shaking my head at how far our relationship has come and how easy it is to hear him say these wicked things to me and not feel the need to climb beneath a rock and hide. Guess I’m a big girl now.

  “Boys, looks like we’ve got ourselves a night off. Know what that means?” Carder strolls over, a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

  “Let’s see,” I place a hand on my hip and use the other to tap my finger against my chin in deep concentration. “I imagine it involves a few beers, ESPN, and at the end of the night the house will smell like stale food and farts. Amirite?” I grin, arching an eyebrow as I look at each of them.

  “Damn,” Bray scoffs. “Are we really that transparent?” he questions, mostly to himself. I don’t bother answering, wouldn’t want to hurt the poor boy’s feelings.

  “Speak for yourself,” Chevy looks horrified. “I can assure you; I will be doing none of those things.” I grin, a sinister plan forming in my deranged little mind.

  “Dax, why don’t you guys introduce Chev to NASCAR? I think he’d love to watch a race. Like, the whole thing. Start to finish.” I smile sweetly, my mate shaking his head at me while my best friend looks like he’s just been given a death sentence.

  “You are the worst! Isn’t it just a continuous loop of left turns?! Why do I need to watch that?” Chevy screeches at me as LT grabs his hand and starts to skip away with him. “One of these things does not belong, Lin. It’s me! I am the thing that doesn’t belong!” His voice fades away as Caulder continues to drag him off, Chevy’s feet digging in the whole way.