Finding Me (Pack Bardot Book 2) Page 11

  “With all my heart,” I tell her.

  “I want the final decision to be Caulder’s, but he’s ours as far as I’m concerned.” Her head tilts up and that sweet smile spreads across her beautiful face. I lean down and capture her lips, not able to resist. Her hands move over my abdomen, the muscles jumping from her touch. Our tongues tangle together, before I draw back just enough to tug her bottom lip between my teeth. She moans and it’s like a drug, the sound going straight to my dick. My hands slide down to her ass, lifting her up. Her feet lock behind my back while her fingers run through my hair, giving it a slight tug. I’m gonna come in my pants. I walk us, blindly, to our room, not wanting to break the kiss. Linny’s back hits the wall and I take the opportunity to grind myself against her. Definitely gonna come. I move us to the bed, my lips moving to her jaw and then down her neck. She smells like honeysuckles and me and my wolf is fucking giddy because of it. I brace myself on my forearms and look down at her, loving the rise and fall of her chest. I did that.

  “I want to be inside of you so badly, but I won’t go that far until I can mark you and have all the time in the world to explore every inch of you. But I need to touch you, Linny. You tell me when to stop, okay?” She nods, too blissed out for words.

  “I need to hear you say it, baby.”

  “Okay,” she rasps, her voice full of longing that I’m more than happy to sate. Her hands delve under my shirt, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. I want to rip it off, but the more clothes we shed, the more willpower I’ll lose. Instead, I inch down her body, lifting her dress as I go. My hands slide up her thighs until pink lace panties come into view, pulling a groan out of me. I drag my finger along the edge and then brush a knuckle over her center, reveling in the dampness I already feel.

  “Please,” Linny begs, her back arching off the bed. My fucking pleasure.

  “If you don’t like something, just tell me to stop.” I need her to know that she’s the one manning this ship.

  “My safe word is keep going,” she growls. I chuckle, sitting back to peel her panties off. Her bare pussy is my new favorite sight. I lean down and place a kiss right on it. Mine. Linny’s breaths grow more ragged as a slide a finger through her slit.

  “Fuck, you’re wet.” I continue exploring her, but move closer, so our faces align. I want to watch every twitch she makes as I play with her, learn exactly how she likes it. I press a finger against her entrance, pausing when she tenses. My lips touch hers in a tender kiss, hoping to take away some of her fear.

  “Relax, baby,” I ease the tip in just barely. “You okay?” She nods, thrusting her hips up and pushing my finger in further. We both moan. She’s so goddamn tight. I start to move, slowly pumping in and out of her without going far enough to break her hymen. My dick gets that honor, considering how much of a trooper he’s been. Sliding back down, I lick my tongue up her, savoring her taste.

  “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Linny mumbles incoherently. I smile against her, thankful I haven’t fumbled my way through this, or at least if I have, it seems to still be working.

  “That’s it, just let go. Come for me, baby.” I keep working my hand, while my tongue teases her clit. I feel her tighten around my fingers, so I gently suck at that little ball of nerves. Her hands fist the sheets, back bowing off the bed as she pulses around me. Her orgasm washes over her in waves, leaving her spent and breathless. My girl is fucking gorgeous when she comes. My dick is as hard as a steel rod and my wolf is pacing, wanting us to mark her. But they can both calm the hell down. Right now, I just wanna pull her against me and snuggle, so that’s exactly what I do. It takes a while for our breathing to return to normal. I could definitely go for a nap, Linny’s head on my chest while my fingers dance up her spine.

  “Um,” she looks at my still stiff dick, then back at me.

  “Don’t even think about touching it. If this were any other day, you could study it under a microscope for all I care. But if you even stare at it for too long right now, we won’t be leaving this house any time soon. I doubt the rest of the pack would appreciate that very much.” Linny laughs, but I’m dead serious. I’m one misplaced brush of her hand away from unloading in my jeans. She starts to doze and then snaps awake.

  “Go to sleep, baby. I’ll set an alarm.” She relaxes, her breaths evening out less than a minute later. I set the alarm on my phone for five, leaving enough time to get back home and squared away before we’d need to head out. For a while, I just stare at her. Her eyelids flutter and I wonder what she’s dreaming about. I’ll come back to her, there isn’t any other option. I won’t be another break of her heart. I kiss her slightly parted lips and close my eyes, following Linny into unconsciousness.

  Chapter 17

  Linden

  “Linny?” I try to open my eyes, but they’re just too heavy. Pillow Dax is better than any memory foam money could buy. “It’s time to go, baby.” Guess that’s my queue to feign sleep. I’m not ready to go back to the real world, I like our bubble just fine. I don’t want to say goodbye, watch him walk away knowing he might not come back. Dax’s thumb brushes over my cheek, causing my eyes to open. We’re on our sides, facing each other. He’s so close I can see flecks of gold in those beautiful green orbs of his. I wish there were a pause button. This moment is so perfect, I don’t want it to end.

  “Promise me something?” I ask, my voice quiet.

  “Anything,” Dax answers without a hint of hesitation.

  “When you get back, and this is all over, I want to do the bonding ceremony as soon as possible. Promise me we will, that nothing or no one will stand in our way.” That heart stopping smile spreads across his face. God, he’s gorgeous.

  “I swear to you, Linny. I’m gonna bond the shit out of you. How’s tomorrow sound?” I laugh, his arm reaching out to tuck me against him. His nose presses into my neck, dragging in a deep breath. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that. Seconds pass, us lying together, neither of us wanting to get up and face reality. Eventually, Dax pulls away, a sad smile on his lips. Without talking, we both start to get ready to leave. I try, and fail, to discretely search for my panties, but there nowhere in sight. Dax catches me, wearing a smug grin. Ever so slowly, he withdraws my pink boy shorts from his pants pocket. I turn about a thousand shades of red. He saunters over, that swagger of his ever present, and brushes his thumbs over my heated cheeks.

  “There’s no room for embarrassment anymore, Linny.” Leaning in so that his lips graze my ear, he whispers, “I know what you taste like when you come.” Well, if not embarrassing me was his goal, it’s safe to say we can chalk this particular moment up to an epic fucking failure. I snatch my panties away and quickly slide them back on. Dax might be totally fine with talking about what we did like he‘s simply speaking about the weather, but I’m not quite there yet. Probably because in no way did that seem like his first encounter of the sexual variety. And why am I not surprised? Dax is the kind of person who breezed through his awkward years flawlessly. Meanwhile, I resembled some sort of gangly hobo. I’m fairly certain I actually ran into walls. I was that clumsy. Definitely did not, nor do I now, have the - ahem - finesse Dax apparently does.

  I know the last thing I should be feeling is insecure, especially when it comes to Dax. I know I’m it for him, just like he is for me. But I think it’s only human nature to be a bit in your head after experiencing something like that for the first time. Was that even good for him? Christ, Linden. You left your mate with a raging hard-on. Highly doubt he’s as blissed out as you currently are. Dax snorts, taking a page from my book, making my eyes widen. I say a silent prayer to whatever god is up there and listening, that those words didn’t actually just leave my mouth for him to hear. Walking closer, Dax pulls me into his arms. His familiar scent wraps around me, making me feel safe and loved.

  “Get out of that pretty little head of yours. You’re the love of my life Linny, and I can’t wait for the many more nights I get to spend between your thi
ghs. It was perfect because it was with you. Even my wildest dreams couldn’t have come up with something hotter than you laid out beneath me like that. You are the only one I want to experience my firsts with. Only you, baby.” He kisses the tip of my nose and I sag against him. Damn him for always knowing the right thing to say to put my mind at ease. His ability to play my body like that doesn’t bode well for any future spats we’ll have. Just a few smooth words from that silver tongue of his and I’ll be putty. And the butthole knows it judging by the smirk he’s wearing. Lacing our fingers together, Dax tugs me out of the room. My fingers graze along the wall as we make our way back through the house. Our house. My head still hasn’t quite processed everything that’s happened over the past few hours.

  I can already hear the pitter-patter of little feet running through the hallways. Caulder stirring up trouble and teaching any little brothers or sisters all the ways to annoy Dax. A smile lifts my lips, just thinking about his growly voice scolding my little dude for all the hell he’s sure to raise. If there’s anyone who deserves a happy, stress-free childhood, it’s LT. I doubt he could ever have a normal one, considering the bullshit he’s already endured, but it’s my personal freakin’ mission in life to make sure that the rest of it is as sweet and love filled as possible. Not a single word is said as we leave, Dax locking the door as we go. Our trek back to Beatrix and Carder’s is spent in comfortable silence. My heart is so happy and full it feels like it may burst. I think I’ve experienced every emotion under the sun over the last week and half, and I’m nowhere near a hundred percent okay, but I know in my soul that I’m headed in the right direction. As soon as my future in-laws house comes into view, I stumble a bit at the sight waiting for us.

  A decent sized group of pack members are gathered out front. The closer we get, the more I can make out their stoic, yet determined, facial expressions. Mom, Beatrix, Chevy and Caulder are already standing on the front porch. No one says a word as we close in and Dax leads me up the steps to join the rest of our family. I absently note that Carder is down with the rest of the pack, obviously preparing to leave with everyone else even though he can’t possibly be in good enough shape for what they’re about to head into. It takes Herculean effort to not snatch him up by the ear like a scolded little boy and march his ass back inside where we belongs. My facial expression must be shouting my disapproval because Papa Wolf arches one of his thick eyebrows at me in amusement. I huff, and may, have stomped my way up the rest of the front steps. Hey, I never claimed to be a mature, rational adult. I’m more of an overgrown toddler, prone to passive-aggressive temper tantrums. But at least I’m self-aware enough to recognize this about myself. That’s more than most folks can say and my issues likely stem from my shitty father, so...his fault, not mine. *Cue shrug*

  “Pack Bardot,” Carder’s steady voice breaks through my scattered thoughts. “I’d hoped this day would never come, but I think we can all agree that that’s a foolish thought to have where Pack Ames is concerned. I take full responsibility for allowing their diseased ideals and cruel customs to go on for as long as they have. If we had acted sooner, my son’s mate would’ve likely never fell victim to their vileness.” Carder’s watery eyes meet mine and I have to force my feet to stay planted in place. I wanna hug him tight, let him know I’ve never once blamed him. I’m all too familiar with the way guilt can consume a person, eating them alive.

  “I’m so sorry what my lack of action has costs you, Itty Bitty. Let this be a lesson to everyone that inaction to wrongdoing is just as bad as being the wrongdoer. But I can promise you now, Pack Bardot will no longer stand idly by while innocent lives are destroyed. Today, we will take the fight to them. We will make it known where we stand from this day forward. I wish I could say with certainty that you will all come back home in one piece, but you know that’s a naive way to think. Hug your families, and don’t leave anything left unsaid. I couldn’t be prouder of the group of wolves standing here today, and you’ll never know how much your loyalty means to me and mine.” Carder’s words trail off, emotion clearly getting the better of him. I’m always amazed at how strong and sure he sounds when speaking to the pack as their Alpha. Only when he gets worked up does that accent of his kick in.

  This isn’t what I want. At all. I don’t want these men and women going off on some sort of revenge mission for me, but deep down, I know it’s way more than that. Taking me was just the tipping point for shitty choices made by Pack Ames. This day was inevitable. So, as much I want to protest and drag the people I love back inside and lock the door, I don’t. Instead, I press my lips together, knowing that any argument I try to make will fall on deaf ears. I know just as well as Pack Bardot, even the ones not here today, that this needs to happen. Dax and I lock eyes, neither of us moving forward just yet. Those beautiful green orbs say so much without his lips ever parting. Finally, he closes the distance between us and tugs me to the side, giving us the slightest illusion of privacy. His hands frame my face and he drops his forehead to rests against mine, neither of us saying a word for a long while.

  “I love you. Always. No matter what happens, I need you to know that my world begins and ends with you, Linny.” His grip tightens just the slightest, a small tremor causing his hand to quiver. I turn my head, inhaling him deeply before placing a gentle kiss against his palm. My hand reaches out and fists his shirt, yanking him closer. I slam my lips against his, almost angrily. I’m pissed at this whole situation and honestly surprised I’m not full-out raging at this point. Dax’s lips move softly against my demanding kiss, soothing that anger boiling inside of me. The unfairness of it all is breaking my heart. A tear slips free and I break away, blinking rapidly at the ground. Get your shit together, Linden. The last thing Dax needs is to go off to battle with his head elsewhere. After a few deep breaths, I finally force my gaze to his.

  “I want you to listen and listen good Daxton Bardot.” When there’s no retort from him, I barrel on. “You will come back to me, do you understand? There is no other option. So help me God, I will rip your ass from the afterlife and then re-kill you myself if you so much as have a hair out of place.” My words end on a growl, causing Dax to cock his head to the side. His eyes scan my face rapidly in bewilderment, but then he just shakes his head and laughs. More laughs join his and I realize that our illusion of privacy was just that, an illusion. Dax pulls me in for a hug and I can tell he’s struggling just as much as I am to let go. By some miracle, we finally break apart. His lips press against the top of my head and my eyes close, relishing in every touch we share.

  “I love you, baby.” Dax whispers against my ear before pulling away. He kneels down in front of Caulder before I can even respond.

  “Go kick some mangey wolf ass, Uncle D.” LT deadpans, causing me to snort. The two of them bump fists and that’s all she wrote for their heartfelt moment. Freakin’ boys. Carder nods for me to step aside, so I do. My arms shake as they wrap around the huge Alpha, a man I’ve come to love and admire.

  “I know you’re strugglin’ with this, but it ain’t your burden to bear, Itty Bitty. You mighta been the catalyst, but this has been years in the makin’. Need ya to know I love you like you’re my own. Hell, maybe even more than my own.” Dax scoffs from behind me and I can’t help but laugh.

  “Love you too, Papa Wolf.” I give him a weak smile, on the verge of a breakdown. I don’t ask him for any promises I know he can’t keep. I trust that he’ll do everything in his power to bring him and Dax home in one piece. He nods at me, like he has a direct link to my thoughts. Dax and Carder step back off the porch, and like a well-oiled unit, the group of roughly thirty men make their way to the edge of the forest. Slowly, wolves start to emerge from behind the trees. I’d been wondering how that whole shift thing worked when in a group. I’m silently thankful that modesty is still a thing among shifters and I didn’t have to see any dongs that don’t belong to my mate.

  “Jesus Christ,” Chevy mumbles, his head shaking back and forth. “Yo
ur broken filter is seriously the highlight of my life.” He chuckles and I just shrug, not really caring what insanity I’ve let out at the moment. Dax steps out from the tree line just enough for me to make out my white and grey wolf. His eyes have turned that amber color and I know his focus is right where it needs to be, relieving the slightest bit of tension from me.

  “I love you,” I mouth. With his wolf’s eyesight, I know he can see me. Further proved by that creepy smile he’s trying to do once again. I think he even attempts a wink. I shake my head, a smile playing against my lips as I watch him turn and trot away, the rest of the pack falling in behind him and Carder. My hand rubs against my chest, an ache already starting to form. I refuse to entertain the idea of not ever seeing him again. The universe couldn’t possibly be that cruel. Fate couldn’t be that cruel. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, steeling myself for the hellish wait that we’re all in for.

  “I need a drink. That was much too stressful for me.” Caulder’s haughty voice snaps me out of it, and a laugh burst free. The back of his little hand rests against his forehead in exasperation.

  “And by a drink, you mean a juice box?” Beatrix cocks an eyebrow at the little diva.

  “Apple juice. On the rocks, please.” He snaps his fingers, then sashays into the house, leaving us all stupefied and laughing a bit hysterically. I know what my little dude is doing, though. Aside from Dax, there isn’t anyone else as in-tune with me the way he is. He knew exactly how to get me out of my head. Linking my arm with Chevy’s, we all head inside to hurry up and wait. I’m sure this will be the longest night of my life.

  Chapter 18

  Daxton

  The cool ground beneath my paws is the only thing I allow myself to focus on. No matter how much my thoughts want to stray to Linny, I refuse them any space, knowing that if I even entertain the slightest images of her, I won’t be able to keep moving forward, away from her. Grinding my jaw, I shake my head. This for her. This is for Minnie. This is for all the countless lives lost for absolutely no goddamn reason. Those thoughts redirect my wolf, urging us forward as determination surges through our bond. I’d be a lying asshole if I said I wasn’t terrified of what could possibly be waiting for us. Not coming back to Linny isn’t an option. She’s been through too much to lose someone else she loves. Clearing my mind, yet again, I focus on keeping pace with Pop. The thump of the other pack members running behind us makes my chest swell with pride. One day, I’m going to be more than honored to accept the role of Alpha to Pack Bardot. God willing, that day is far away.